Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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