This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
