Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
