What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
