I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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