the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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