so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize