I'm going to jail i love you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
