I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
