she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
only you would photoshop your dick
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
