Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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