is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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