How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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