my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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