im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
