Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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