i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
