Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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