Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
