just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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