Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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