He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
