I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize