I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
