Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize