how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
