Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
