i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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