Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
