We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Duck Duck Cougar?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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