I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I did not marry a roomba.
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