im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize