THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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