how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i out mim tonsoeep
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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