I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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