I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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