It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
