I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
