I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
