i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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