she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
