I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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