I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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