Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
