16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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