sarcasm needs its own font
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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