if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
