i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
