We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
