fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As shirtless as possible
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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