My room smells like vodka and shame
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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