so explain again why im purple
no
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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