I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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