at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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