All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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