Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
