Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
