I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
