I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
