Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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