K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize