Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
