I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
