I only kidnapped one of them. chill
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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